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.“Good,” he said.“Who do you want to punch out?”“No one.”Wild Bill raised a bushy eyebrow.“Okay, Phoebe would be a good place to start.”Wild Bill gestured at the black, cracked-leather bag.“Swing away.”“But isn’t it bad to imagine this? Aren’t we supposed to not harbor damaging images?”“What we’re supposed to do is not act on them.This is the best way I’ve found to get it out of my head, though.Now, instead of getting into a fight at the bar, I step away, then come here and pummel the bag.Trust me, it’ll feel like just what you need.”I hit it once, twice, three times.Wild Bill grabbed the swinging bag and held it in place, stopping the creak of the chain securing it to the ceiling.“Who else? What about that guy who left you at the altar?”“I’m okay with it.I’ve moved on, and he even wrote an apology in the paper.” For everyone in the city to read.“Bullshit.Think about all the anger and frustration you’ve ever had with him, and you punch it out.Keep hitting until you can’t swing anymore.”I sucked in a deep breath and swung.Again and again.My arms burned and my lungs worked harder and harder with every hit.When I couldn’t hit with my fists anymore, I kicked.I kicked away the hit to my self-esteem when Mom left.The frustration over the fact that my finally telling her how I felt only made her leave.The damage Grant had done to my heart.The image of Brendan with the woman from his work—the one who hadn’t even known his name.I kicked and punched until I fell into a pile on the mat, breaths sawing in and out of my mouth, my chest heaving with the effort.Wild Bill sat next to me.“Feel better?”I wiped my forearm across my sweaty forehead.My anger was indeed gone, and while not much had changed since I came in, I felt like I could take on anything.“Yeah.”“If you want a membership here, I could talk to Dan.”I glanced around at all the equipment, along with the guys using it.“I’d like that.”Wild Bill gave a sharp nod.I pushed myself to my knees and hugged him.“Thanks.”“Anytime, darlin’.”Hugging a grizzled tattoo artist I’d met in mandatory anger management class, exhausted to the point my lungs were on fire, I found what I needed.I felt in control—not of everything going on, ’cause whoa, my life was a total soap opera lately—but of myself.More importantly, I was ready to tackle the issue that I’d been avoiding for way too long.…Brendan was in the kitchen when I got back to the house.“What the hell, Deej? I tell you I need to talk, and you just fall off the face of the earth.I was starting to get worried.”His voice made my heart hitch, and I tried not to think about how it’d shatter into a million little pieces if this all went wrong.“I am sorry about that.And I’m ready to talk.” I took a deep breath, preparing for the hard stuff.“Did you know you’ve been in the social column this past week?”“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”I braced for his words, telling myself I could handle anything.I was strong.I’d been abandoned by my mom, left at the altar, and had my humiliation and love life printed for thousands to read, and I was still fighting.Brendan moved around the counter, and his eyes bored into me.Despite how strong I was, the thought of losing him sent a sharp pang through my chest.If there were even an ounce of him that still wanted me, I’d fight like hell to keep him.“Am I just ‘the one for right now’? Is that how you really see me?” he asked.I shook my head.“No.I did tell Phoebe that, though.She was crying and she asked about you and me, and I was trying to be civil—I have no idea why, because she obviously isn’t.I realize it sounds like an insult to you, especially in print.”“Yeah, I’ll admit it sucked to read that.I was surprised at how hard it hit me, actually.”“Is that why you were ‘canoodling’ with that woman from your work at Terra?”Brendan’s eyebrows drew together.“What?”“That’s what Phoebe’s column said today.I assumed it was the girl who called you Brandon.I hope she at least knows your name now,” I muttered and then bit my lip, forcing myself to meet his gaze.“Or was it someone else? Just tell me the truth so I can try to deal with it.”“I did meet Sheila at Terra—she called me and said she needed to talk.I tried to blow it off, but she insisted, and you were out with your mom, so…”Lead filled my chest, leaving it heavy and cold.I gripped the counter for support, sure my knees were about to buckle.“She showed me the paper.The part that said you thought I was the one for now.Said she thought I should know.”I pictured the raven-haired woman and the way she’d flirted with him.“I’m sure she did.” As jealousy and anger rose up, I took a deep breath, focusing on what was important.“So you…took solace in her arms?”He wrinkled his nose.“Of course not.She hugged me when she saw how upset I was and told me that I deserved better.I was so stunned at first, my mind going a hundred miles a minute as I tried to deal with feeling like I’d been punched in the gut.But when she hugged me tighter and suggested we go to her place, I pushed her away and told her I was still with you.I thought there had to be a good explanation, and I’ve been trying to figure out where we stand since.Last night you were clearly too out of it to talk when you came home, and then this morning you just left.I was starting to think you were gonna dump me—or that you already had and I just didn’t know it yet.”A relieved laugh bubbled from my lips.“D.J., you’re kind of killing me here.You’ve been acting so strange lately, so if there’s something you need to tell me…”I flung my arms around him.It took him a moment to reciprocate, but all the pieces inside me that’d felt broken came together.There were still a few gaps, but they didn’t hurt as badly anymore.“I’m sorry, I’m just so happy that it was all blown out of proportion.” For a moment I hung on, but then I knew it was time to talk it out before anything else happened—no more being scared or having to wonder.Reluctantly, I pulled back.“Look, the reason I said what I did to Phoebe was because I didn’t want to say anything that’d make you run.I know you’re not crazy about serious relationships
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