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.Itwasn t just because they needed to hide from his father.It wasn t justabout being somewhere safe.It was about finding somewhere to belong.Somewhere that hecould call home.And for the first time Adam realized that home wasn t the houseon the hill with its big windows and moss-covered roof, wornhardwood floors and tiny off-square rooms.No, home wasn t hereinside these walls, among all the things he d grown up with, things thathe d shared with his mother.Everything in Adam s life the furniture,pictures, and even the dishes were just items marking the passage oftime.They meant nothing.Even as solid as they felt under his hands,they really didn t exist.Home was love, and now that she was gone, for Adam, love wasEan.Had she known he d find someone like Ean to teach him aboutwhat was really important? Or had she just hoped?Either way, it didn t matter, because now Adam had lost Ean too.Batu had said he wasn t going to keep him, and that meant Adamwould have to be owned by another, some Male he didn t know, some 182 Adrienne WilderMale he d have to feed.While Kin cared for what was theirs, protectedthem, kept them, they could not love.And Adam didn t know how hecould exist without that very simple Human element.Probably the only thing that really made Humans different fromthe monsters.For the first time in his life, Adam had no direction.Standingthere in the tiny kitchen with its faded gold tile, he might as well havebeen set adrift in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight.He dnever felt such a sense of loneliness, this sense of being lost.Not eventhose five years away when he was so desperate to come back to thehome he d known, to the one other person he d ever truly loved.It seemed impossible, but the pain of losing Ean eclipsed the lossof his mother and threatened to wash away everything he was.Desperate, Adam searched for something to anchor him to thehere and now, anything, just a crumb of Humanness to keep him sane.He blinked and noticed the small white rectangle of cardboardlying on his kitchen table.Ten minutes later, Adam stood in front of the pay phone a blockfrom his house with a quarter he d fished from behind the busted plateof the coin return in his hand.He stared at the coin, not quite sure whathe was doing or why.Then he stuck it in the slot and dialed the numberon the crumpled card he d laid on the top of the phone box.A long crackle of static, then it rang.Adam shut his eyes and pretended he could smell peaches.The phone picked up. Hello?Music played in the background, and there was a lot of talking,guys and girls.It sounded like a party.Adam couldn t help but thinkhow he d never been to a party before.His own birthdays had beenspent with Ean and sometimes his mother if she had the day off.Thing was, it had been more than he could have ever wanted.Hell, even now it was more than he needed.Now all that was gone, andcalling Brian wasn t going to change it.On the other end of the line, there was movement from Brian andanother, Hello? To Adam With Love 183Adam sighed and hung up.Somewhere in the high grass, thecicada kicked up.Adam pushed himself away from the phone andheaded back toward the house.It would be dark soon.He was hungryand shivering again.Without the Males to keep him warm and to feed him, Adamknew his time was short.He didn t want to die.What he wanted was tosimply cease to exist.Or better yet, to have never been.By the time Adam got back home, the chill he felt had turned intofull-fledged shakes.He stripped off his jeans, cranked on the hot waterin the bathtub, and fell in.Even though the tepid air turned white, the damn thing wasn tnearly hot enough.Adam curled under the spray and fought the urge tosleep.It was a battle he must have lost because the next thing he knew,he was lying in his bed, rolled up in a blanket and incredibly warm.Nomuscle cramps, no aches, just all-over, head-to-toe warmth.He didhave an erection, and he was still hungry, but it wasn t so bad hecouldn t ignore it for now. You re awake.Adam blinked as a pair of chocolate-colored eyes came into view.He looked past Brian to see where he was his room, his bed, still athome.He brought his gaze back. What are you doing here? You called me.Yeah, he had, but&. I didn t say anything. You didn t have to.I heard you sigh.More blinking. You heard me sigh?Brian smiled, and just like always, it was a beautiful sight.Adamcaught himself staring at Brian s mouth and forced his gaze to the farwall instead. I Googled the phone number that came up on the caller ID.When I saw where it was coming from, I knew it had to be you, but youdo have a very distinctive sigh. Brian s thumb stroked Adam s cheekand chin and moved close to his lips.Adam didn t pull away.Worsethan that, he was staring at Brian s mouth again. You were cold, so Iwrapped you in an electric blanket. 184 Adrienne WilderBeing touched was all Adam was thinking about, so it took him aminute to process what Brian had said. I don t have an electricblanket. I found it in your mom s room.I didn t think you d mind.When Adam shifted under the blanket, Brian sat up and swung hislegs over the edge of the mattress.Brian said, Are you hungry?Yeah. I m okay. You sure? I ate some nachos at the party, but I could always eatsome real food.Adam had been right that Brian had been at a party. I didn tmean to drag you away. In fact, going back was probably a good idea. I don t mind. No, the look in Brian s eyes said he didn t mindat all.In spite of all the want the lust Brian s expression wasnothing like Ean s.Come to think of it, neither was his touch.It feltnice, Adam craved it, but it wasn t the same it wasn t as fulfilling.Brian touched like a Human, not like Kin.The pain in Adam s chest made his face clench and his bodytremble. You okay?No, he wasn t.A very important part of Adam had been missingand then found, and was gone again, and now he d never get it back.Adam pulled the blanket tighter around himself when he felt Brian shand touch him between his shoulders. You can talk to me, you know.Adam shrugged. There s nothing to talk about. I saw the Stain. Brian moved closer.His hand slipped underAdam s chin and forced his face up, but opening his eyes was his ownfault. It s beautiful, Adam.Like you. It just started. Does that mean it will get darker? Yeah, darker, maybe bigger.I hope I don t wind up marked onmy face.Some do, you know. Adam didn t know why he felt a need tosay that, but he did
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