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.On his back with his arms raised, Necal i’s forearmscrossed and rested over his eyes.He bit his lower lip.Adam sat on the bed and wiped the lean muscles ofNecal i’s torso.“Why do you run in fear from me?”His motions stopped.How should he answer? Could he telhim the truth? “I didn’t run from you.”59Christie GordonNecal i put his arms down.Pain showed on his face.“Areyou afraid of me?”Frowning, he leaned down and wrapped his arms aroundNecal i’s shoulders.“No, I’m not afraid of you.It’s, wel …”He gulped hard.It was obvious he owed Necal i a reasonableexplanation.“I think I’m afraid of my feelings for you.” Hetightened his hold, waiting for some sort of backlash.Necal i returned Adam’s embrace.“Because you’ve lost somuch, you’ve built walls around your heart.”Tears fil ed his eyes.What Necal i said was true and it wasan unbearable and frightening thing to face.“You are everything to me.I’ll tell you this, even though Iknow how much it scares you.” Kissing Adam’s cheek, Necallicaressed slow circles on Adam’s back.Fear paralyzed him.If he spoke, everything might pour outof him and the walls Necalli spoke of would crumble.Hewasn’t ready.“Let’s talk about something else, okay?”He shoved himself up, out of Necal i’s embrace, and roseto put the washcloth away and dress.After hanging thewashcloth in the bathroom and putting his boxers and slacksback on, he brought Necal i’s clothes to him.“Here.” Hehanded them to Necal i.Necal i sat up and dressed.He climbed up on the bed and crept over the quilt to thewall.He sat with his back against it and drew his legs up.Hismind shifted gears.What were those strange things Necal i didand said at the bar? He wanted explanations.“Did youremember something when we were at Frank’s?”Necal i sat on the edge of the bed, buttoning his shirt.Heturned to Adam with his eyes widening in surprise.“N-no, Ididn’t.Not a thing.”Something in Necal i’s voice didn’t ring true.“Yes, youdid.” If Necalli could make him face his fears, then he couldmake Necal i do the same.Necal i looked away and let his hair cover his face.Reaching forward, he grabbed hold of Necal i’s arm and60The First Ful Moontugged him backward.“Don’t.” Necalli jerked his arm.“I just want you to come back here and sit with me.” Hekept a firm grip on Necalli’s arm, tugging him backward.Grunting, Necalli crept back to sit beside Adam, keepinghis face lowered.He sighed, putting an arm around Necalli.“Listen, thisthing works both ways.If you want me to open up to you,then you have to trust me enough to tel me the truth.”Trembling, Necal i turned into Adam’s shoulder, placing hishand on Adam’s chest.“I did remember something.But, it wasterrible, so terrible.” His voice shook.He rubbed Necal i’s shoulder and gave him a tender kiss onhis forehead.“It’s okay.I’m sure there is someone out therewho’s looking for you, who misses you.We need to find—”“But I won’t go back.Don’t make me go back.I want tostay with you.Remember? You said I could.” Necal i’s breathhitched.“Shh, Settle down.I won’t make you go back.” He kissedhis head.“Tel me what you remember, please.”Necal i’s fists clenched and unclenched.“I was on a boatand there were these things, monsters.They were al aroundme.I saw them tear those men apart.I saw them drink theirblood.I saw…” Burying his face deeper into Adam’s shirt, helet out a soft sob.“Oh, God.Shh.” He drew Necal i into his lap and held himtight, running his hand over the back of Necal i’s head, hopingto ease his pain.“I’m sure they looked like monsters.It wasdark after all.But wasn’t it really a group of rabid animals?Mountain lions, maybe?”Necal i thrust his head up and gazed at Adam with weteyes.“It wasn’t mountain lions or any other sort of rabidanimal.” Sniffling, he swiped his face with the back of hishand.Fresh tears fil ed his eyes.“They had arms and legs, likehumans.”A chil ran down his spine as he remembered the Indian61Christie Gordoncurse Peter spoke of.Not possible, Necal i must have beenscared and confused and it was dark.“Okay, well, you didremember something at least.That’s a good sign, isn’t it?”Necal i gave Adam a slow nod, keeping his eyes fixed onAdam’s as if drawing strength from them.A smile spread on his lips.“Maybe soon, you’l remembermore and this whole mystery wil be solved.” He pulled Necalliback into his chest and held him for a few moments.He foundhimself rubbing his cheek over the top of Necal i’s head, losinghimself in the spicy scent of the young man curled in his lap.He could get used to this, addicted to it.“Adam?”“Yes?”“Do you have any books that aren’t on boats?” Necallitraced a soft circle on Adam’s arm.He let his eyes roam the inside of his cabin and chuckled.“No, not real y.”“Oh.”“You like to read, huh?” He gently pushed Necal i away sohe could look at his face, holding him by the shoulders.“I do.I love to read.” Necal i looked directly into Adam’seyes.“We’l have to get you some of the books you like.” Hegave Necal i’s shoulders a soft squeeze.“When?”He shrugged.“Well, I think the bookstore is still open, ifwe hurry.”Necalli smiled, baring long eyeteeth.“Get dressed.”Adam parked his old Chevy sedan in front of the bookstoreand killed the engine.It was early evening and the light fromthe sign was on, making the fog glow in swirls over it.Adampeered through the glass of his windshield and the bookstorefront to see a balding man behind a wooden counter, bent overthe cash register.“Looks like it’s still open.” He turned hishead to gaze at Necal i, shifting with obvious unease on the62The First Ful Moonseat next to him.Necalli gave Adam an anxious grin.“What’s the matter?” He rested his hands on the woodsteering wheel
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