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.I ran after it, but it tore down the street before I reached the place it had been.My brain wasn’t working the way it normally did.It felt as if a cloud had settled in and obscured everything but the memory of that kiss.My hand flew to my lips, feeling the lingering warmth.I couldn’t just stand there, I had to find him, but my car wasn’t there.It took me a minute to remember that the rental car parked just down the street would have to suffice.Evan’s car was long gone by the time I was ready to go after him, but it didn’t matter, I knew where I needed to go to find him.With any luck, I could find the small, unremarkable dirt path that led to Henry Wolf’s house without Evan to help.If Evan wasn’t there, I would simply wait until he returned.It should have been a twenty minute drive, but I made the trip in ten, somehow managing not to kill anyone as I sped through the winding forest roads.I passed the dirt path at first, but realized it a few yards later.Backing the car up, I made the turn down the unpaved road.No one was home when I knocked on the door.I pounded on it until my knuckles bled, and then collapsed against it, allowing the odd numbness to completely fill my body and brain.I would wait.Sooner or later, he would come back.At least, for the moment, my brain was utterly distracted from my more serious problems.Time passed quickly in my lust-filled haze.I didn’t look at my watch.I didn’t even think, except about Evan.In truth, there wasn’t anything else I wanted to think about.Everything else hurt too much.Some time later (I don’t know how long), I began feeling uncomfortable.My pulse slowed, taking the throbbing with it.The ache subsided.My brain began trying to process what had happened.It didn’t get far, but it tried.When Evan sat down beside me on the porch, I barely flinched.“Feeling better?” Evan asked.“What the hell was that?” I managed.For a long time, he didn’t say anything, and I risked a look at his dark profile.His hair fell in casual waves to his shoulders.It was longer than mine since I had cut my hair, but on him it somehow emphasized his masculinity.He had started wearing it that way in high school, right around the time I had first developed my crush.My eyes settled on his lips, full and slightly parted, and a flush of embarrassment made me look away.I didn’t need him to tell me what that was; he had already done that.Madison had also tried to tell me, but I had dismissed her as casually as all the silly girls who thought he hypnotized them with his eyes.Madison may have been shy, and she may have been afraid of Evan, but she wasn’t stupid.In fact, she had the sort of intelligence that caused some people to keep their distance.“Master Wolf calls it the kiss of death,” Evan said after a small eternity had passed.“I’m not dead,” I said without thinking.“It’s not literal.”My already red cheeks grew redder.What had I been thinking to throw myself at Evan like that? Well, I knew what I had been thinking.My parents had hurt me so deeply I couldn’t think straight, and irrationally, I had sought comfort from him.I couldn’t even pretend it had anything to do with Braden, because despite his marriage proposal, he hadn’t been the first person I had thought of.No, I had almost been glad of the excuse to fling myself at Evan, relying on our history of friendship to soften the blow should he reject my advance.Mindless grief had lowered my inhibitions, giving me leave to do precisely what I had wanted to do since Monday afternoon, when he had strolled back into my life.On some level, I had known that getting involved with Evan would be playing with fire, even if I didn’t know the specifics.Maybe that’s why I had maintained a careful distance in high school, despite my attraction–or because of it.Maybe that’s why I had ended up dating Braden, a man with a lot of the same attributes–a desire to help people, and a certain lust for power–but who I could ultimately handle.I could never handle Evan.If I hadn’t understood that before, that kiss had made sure my eyes were wide open now
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