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.Lora, I ve never felt the way I feel withyou.I don t want to forget this ever happened. The muscle in her jaw twitched. You re serious, aren t you? I am. She looked away.She looked at me.She looked away. I want tobe normal.I don t want to be a freak, to have everyone pointing at meand laughing behind my back. They ll never know. People will find out. No.I promise, it ll be our secret. One corner of her mouth turned up. Our secret? Besides, wouldn t you rather be a freak and be happy than benormal and unhappy? Lora sat quiet for a moment.A rumble from the nearby highwaydrifted over us, and the Pinto trembled.She timidly reached for myhand.She didn t have to say another word.Lora wanted me.We coulddeny it, ignore it, try to forget it, or even fight it, but it wasn t goingaway.It couldn t.We were bound together by a rudimentary need thatseventeen years of programming couldn t erase.It was at the core of ourbeing, and without it, we couldn t live.But with it, what did our futurehold?Lora s hand was damp and clammy, but her touch sent a surge ofblood to my groin.My heart beat faster.My head swam. What now? I don t know. She looked toward the empty street, then leanedacross the console and kissed me. 101I met her lips and tasted her sweet breath.I was starving for more,but we were in the open and exposed.We pulled apart as quickly aswe d joined.Lora s face was flushed with the same excitement that ragedthrough me. This is crazy.We re asking for a world of trouble, Claire.If anyone even suspects what s going on, we re toast. I ve never felt right with anyone but you, not even with Matthew.I don t care what people say, this is what I want. She brushed my cheek with delicate fingertips. If you can handleit, then so can I. With that, Lora and I started our journey.For the first time in hislife, Jock Richardson had been benched, but I was a rookie and didn tunderstand the game.Only time would tell if I had what it took to keepLora Tyler on my team. CHAPTER 20I can t sleep.I ve been bouncing around the bed for hours andregularly kicking Jitterbug.The dog is used to it; she just grunts, rollsover, and goes back to sleep.I wish it were that easy for me, but mybrain seems to have a short circuit.Every time I drift off, some spark ofthought flares up and I m wide awake again.If it weren t so late, I d pop a pill, but I don t want to spend all dayin a stupor, so I prop my pillow against the headboard and flip on thebedside lamp.When my eyes adjust, I grab this week s copy of Time.Without looking at the cover, I flip through a few pages and stop on afull-page cosmetics ad.Before me, in all their undernourished glory, twomodels stand side by side.One has an exotic Oriental look, olive skin,satin black hair, and almond-shaped eyes.The other is pure Californiasurfer dudette, bobbed blonde hair, bronze skin, and blue eyes thatwould make Paul Newman look twice.The caption reads, Because notwo of us are exactly alike. There s a truth that hits home.Tonya has told me a thousand times that all women are physicallyunique, but my lack of experience with anyone but my lover has mademe skeptical.Now, after kissing Rebecca only once, I see that Tonya isright.Rebecca s body feels small, more compact than the one whoshared my bed for so long.Her lips are full, her hands dainty comparedto my former lover s.But there s something else about Rebecca,something I can t define, that makes her different.Maybe it s hersmell like apricot brandy or maybe it s the way she tilts her head abit to the left when she smiles.I push those thoughts aside and turn a few more pages, stopping onan article about genetic engineering.The tag line reads, Is sexualreproduction becoming old-fashioned? Sex.All I have to do is see the word, and it makes me nuts
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