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.Maybe it had some sort of radar or sonar to keep it away from bigthings like boats and piers.So I used the metal end of the hoe to herd it over to the side of the fence that was still in the sun, but it wouldn’t go close to the fence; when it was maybe ten feet away it always went off sideways at an angle and never got any nearer.The phone rang.I ran inside and got it, then held it up to Father’s ear and mouth.It was the school, asking why I wasn’t there.He winked at me and told them I had the flu, it probably wasn’t too serious but I wouldn’t beable to come in today or tomorrow.And, no, I wouldn’t have a doctor’s excuse because he was my father and it was up to him whether or not he let me go to school, and he wasn’t going to pay some doctor just to write me a note.And, no, he wasn’t going to write a note for me either, because my mother was away for a few days and he happened to be paralyzed from theneck down, but if they wanted to send somebody out to make sure he really was my father and sitting in his wheelchair paralyzed from the neck down, they were welcome to do so.The school said, Sorry to have bothered you, Mr.Matson, and he had me hang up.I kissed him and went back outside.The duck was still sunbathing in the middle of the lawn.I wanted topush it into the shade and see if it attacked me even though I was bigger than a swan.It wouldn’t be very dangerous because the duck would stop as soon as it got back out into the sun.But I didn’t want to be too close when it came at me in case it moved a lot faster than when it was just paddlingaround.I took the hoe and tied the bamboo pole to it to make it longer, thenused the metal end to push the duck into the shade.It was maybe ten feet out of the sun when I stopped.That took almost ten minutes.As soon as I took the hoe away it moved its head like it was searchingfor something, then started coming at me, paddling as fast as it could and ripping up the lawn a little.But even so it was still just inching and sliding across the grass slower than I could’ve moved on my hands and knees.Itwasn’t trying to use its wings, it only used its wings when the sun was going down.I stayed just on the bright side of the shadow’s edge and let the duck chase me.It was so slow and stupid-looking and I was in the sun, so Iwasn’t worried.Besides, I wanted to see what it would try to do to me when the time came for it to drag me under.What it did when I let it get to about three feet away was, it stuck its head down under its body, pushing it in under its puffed-out chest, which made it look even sillier, because the way its chest was already resting on the grass with its legs sticking out behind made it look like, some sort of crazy toy wheelbarrow.Then it kicked off with its legs like it was trying to dive down to the bottom, but all that happened was that it fell back into the wheelbarrow position again.But it didn’t seem to even notice it wasn’tunderwater, because then it pulled its head out from under its chest and stuck it straight at me and paddled as fast as it could at me until it was just at the shadow’s edge, then it suddenly arched its head and neck and body backwards and did something with its wings real fast that made it fall over on its back.I moved down the shadow line a little so it could come after me without getting in the sun.Now that it was over on its back it was using itswings like oars and that was working better than the other paddling because even though the grass was smooth the wings could sort of catch in it and scoot the duck along.I stood where I was this time and when it got maybe two feet away from me its legs moved away from each other and turnedaround sideways so its feet were facing each other like it wanted to clap them together.Big steel claws like meat hooks came out of the feet very fast and its belly opened up and something like a long rotary file and a drill and a buzzsaw all at the same time came out and started whirling so fast it was just a blur even though it didn’t make noise like a drill or a buzzsaw usually would.The duck had finally gotten to the line between the sun and shadowand I knew if it came any farther it would be out in the sun and just go back to being a fake duck, so I used the hoe to turn the duck around facing the other way.But it just used one wing to turn itself back so it was coming at me again, and this time I let it get out into the sunlight.As soon as its head was in the sun the claws went back into its feetand the drill-thing stopped turning and started going back into its stomach.I got a better look at it this time, and it was all covered with barbs like fish hooks and other little knives that turned around on their own, not always in the same direction as the whole thing, but before I could get a better look the duck’s stomach closed up and it was just a fake duck lying on its back again.It couldn’t seem to turn itself back rightside up so I used thebamboo-stick end of the hoe to tip it over.It was too slow and clumsy in the daytime to be any use if I just left it in the backyard.I was sorry we didn’t have a swimming pool and tried to think of how I could use Beth’s pool but I couldn’t come up with anything.But even though I couldn’t see how to make the duck work right exceptmaybe just throwing it on someone it was still good to know that the duck would try to kill people and not just other birds.Then I remembered the duck had a whole different way of attackingthings at sunset, when it used its wings a bit and went a lot faster over the surface of the water to cut off the other duck’s heads.So maybe that would work.Only if it did work I didn’t want to be there in the back yard when the duck attacked.For a while I thought about getting a dog or cat and putting it in theback yard with the duck to see what happened but the idea made me sickand I couldn’t do it.Then I thought of catching a real duck, but it wouldprobably make a lot of noise unless I killed it, and if I got caught killing a duck with the way everybody knew how I liked to go watch the ducks they’d get suspicious of me and wonder how many other ducks I’d killed and think I was crazy or evil, so if somebody got killed right after that they’d be sure I did it.But then I thought, it doesn’t have to be a live duck.I had enoughmoney to buy one that was ready to cook at the poultry shop, and I could get one with the feathers and head everything still on it.So I rode my bike there but all their ducks and chickens were already plucked so I had to buy a goose, which cost a lot more than I wanted to spend.They gave me asheet of instructions for how to cook it even though I said it was for my mother.I put the goose half-way across the yard from the duck.That way Icould see how fast it could go when it was after something.But the sunwasn’t quite down yet, so I went inside and tried to play checkers withFather.I couldn’t get interested, so after one game I went into the kitchen where I could watch the back yard out the window.But when the sun went down and the light went away the duck didn’teven try to do anything to the goose.It just turned back into a log and stuck its lily pads out of the ends of its broken-off branches.I went back into the living room and watched Shanghai Express with Father
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