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.It would also seem that enhancing the family s connec-tion to other institutions and networks of support may even serve to diffusethe kinds of conflict within families that often lead to marital breakup.In A Christian Theology of Marriage and Family, Rubio proposes the dualvocation of Christian parents. 77 Rather than focusing exclusively on the 70 Chapter 2well-being of their own children, both mothers and fathers are called as Chris-tians to contribute to the common good through work outside the family.Inthis way they become models of committed discipleship both through theirfaithful and lasting commitment to each other as spouses and through theirrespective vocations.78 Through their parents, children are connected to otheradults who share in the responsibility for their care.They are also introducedto the notion that they too have responsibilities to contribute to the good ofsociety and to the well-being of the poor and vulnerable in particular.Theycan share in their parents dual vocation by taking on increased responsibil-ity for the household in what Bonnie J.Miller-McLemore calls the pitch infamily and by participating in activities outside the home as well (which mayinclude, but probably ought not to be limited to, traditional and competi-tive activities such as soccer games and piano lessons).79 The family ought tofunction as a place of nurture for children and as a school for compassionand solidarity.The family is not therefore relegated to serving as a haven in aheartless world where wife and children provide refuge and emotional grati-fication for the breadwinning father.The boundaries between the private lifeof the family and the public worlds of work, worship, and community shouldbe much more fluid than they are envisioned in our present culture.Both Cahill and Rubio are concerned that parents activities and indeedactivism outside the home should tend toward widening the family s circle ofsolidarity.Christine Gudorf has noted that the experience of parenting itself,and in particular her experience of adopting a child with a serious medicalcondition, can invite one to solidarity with children, and with parents whostruggle to provide for their children in extremely adverse circumstances.Alltoo often, however, adults use their power to compete with others in orderto secure the best possible resources for the children in their families.Thisleaves poor and marginalized parents and their children fewer resources anda smaller circle of allies.Reflecting on an experience in her own community,Lisa Cahill relates a story that highlights this tendency and calls on parentsand families to be concerned for children who are not their own and evenmore for children and others who are marginalized.No dearth of community activism there.Nonemployed, highly educated moth-ers with lots of leisure time banded together to advocate for resources to beredistributed to talented children from those with special needs .and tobuild a new school playground with private funds after the city ruled renova-tions an unfair drain on a budget shared with the schools of less-wealthy neigh-borhoods.80The temptation to expend all of one s energy, resources and influence onbehalf of one s own children, children who already enjoy privilege, is very Children s Rights and Family Values 71real and needs to be resisted.Connecting families to the common good andbuilding bridges of solidarity with poor families and children is crucial, but itcannot be limited to acting locally without any sense of the ways in which acting locally can fail to meet the demands of solidarity and may have anegative impact on the well-being of others.An adequate approach to children and childhood will need to draw upon avision of family life that is not exclusively focused on the family as an isolatedunit of social life, or on one particular model of familial relationships.Sup-porting family does not always ensure that all children receive the goodsthat they need to thrive.Girl children in particular may be asked to sacrificefor family well-being in ways that undermine their dignity as they lose outon access to basic goods like food, health care, and education for the sake ofbrothers or other male members of the family
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