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.Inresponse to a question about the book Jonathan LivingstonSeagull, Dobson rightly responds:This book expressed a damaging philosophy thatbecame popular about eight years ago, which can besummarized by the phrase Do your own thing. Itmeans, in brief, that I m protecting my own self-inter-ests and will do whatever suits my fancy, regardless ofthe needs of others or the moral values of my society.1Dobson sees how contrary that is to the Christian mes-sage and says:It is my conviction that these messages are directlycontradictory to the essence of Christianity which putsits emphasis on giving, sharing, caring, loving, turningthe other cheek, going the second mile, and acceptingGod s commandments.2129 130 James Dobson s Gospel of Self-Esteem & PsychologyBut do any psychological self-esteem, self-acceptance, andself-love teachings reflect the essence of Christianity ? Alongwith secular humanistic psychologists, Dobson believes thatself-esteem, self-worth, and self-acceptance will lead to per-sonal and social responsibility that self-esteem is almostequivalent to giving, sharing, caring, and loving.However,the essence of Christianity is not giving, sharing, caring,loving as a result of loving, accepting, and esteeming self.One can give, share, care and love that way and be eternallylost.The essence of Christianity is Christ in you, the hopeof glory, not self-improvement or gaining self-esteem.It is giving, sharing, caring, loving, turning the other cheek, goingthe second mile, and obeying God s commandments becauseof Christ because of what He has done and is doing in thelife of the believer.For Dobson, things get reversed.Even if he does notintend it, the focus always slips back to the advantage forthe self.He says:When the family conforms to God s blueprint, then self-esteem is available for everyone which satisfies ro-mantic aspirations which abolishes loneliness, isola-tion, and boredom which contributes to sexual fulfill-ment which binds the marriage together in fidelitywhich provides security for children which givesparents a sense of purpose which contributes to self-esteem once more.3Thus self-esteem becomes the reason to obey God.Thegoal of obedience becomes subtly swerved from a desire toplease God to a desire to gain personal advantages.But iflove and obedience for God are for personal (selfish) prag-matic reasons, rather than for biblical reasons, what hap-pens when romantic aspirations are not satisfied and isola-tion is increased and there is no sexual fulfillment as a directresult of obedience to Christ? Such a promise for self-esteem God and Self-Esteem 131and personal fulfillment could not have kept the church alivethroughout centuries of persecution.Confidence in Self or GodSelf-confidence and self-esteem go together.Dobsonstresses the importance of self-confidence throughout hisbooks.However, he confuses the source of confidence whenhe attempts to make self-confidence sound biblical.He quotesa young man saying:I ve learned that God made everybody the way theyare for a reason, and He doesn t make mistakes.I vemet a few people who understood that principle andrefused to let their [physical] imperfections botherthem.4Then the young man shares a beautiful testimony abouta girl who has a crippling disease for which she must wearleg braces.He says:She is such a glory to God, because she knows thatshe s supposed to be like that.But people often getso concerned with the way they look that they fail tounderstand that God can use them just the way theyare.God has a purpose for each one of us, and it s ourduty to find out what His purposes are and then tofulfill them.5 (Emphasis his.)Dobson responds: That s the secret of self-confidence. 6Dobson reduces a God honoring and God-centered declara-tion to self-confidence.Why is that not confidence in Godand in His faithfulness rather than confidence in self?Paul certainly would not have made such a remark, forhe declared that he put no confidence in self.His confidence 132 James Dobson s Gospel of Self-Esteem & Psychologywas in the Lord.However, when psychology is the founda-tion, all roads eventually lead back to self, even for thosewho give a nod to God or use Him to build up the self.For Dobson the answer to lack of confidence is self-confi-dence.He continues:This is a principle that I would like all our readers tounderstand.You may think you have no ability or skills,but your real problem is that you merely lack confi-dence.7 (Emphasis his.)The answer to feeling inferior and inadequate accordingto Dobson is found in identifying hidden abilities and culti-vating them.8 And then he declares: With a little confidenceyou can achieve something that will make you proud of your-self. 9 All of this sounds like the advice of the world and thegoal of the world, not the advice of the Bible or the goal ofthe Christian life.Paul counted all of his past achievementsbased on his own confidence dung. But as a called ministerof the Gospel, Paul confesses: Not that we are sufficient ofourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our suffi-ciency is of God (2 Corinthians 3:5).However, Dobson brings Jesus into the picture, not asour sufficiency, but as someone who can help a person withself-confidence.In response to one youth s declaration thatJesus is there to give me confidence and that he dependson partnership with God, Dobson speaks of the importanceof God being involved.But there s a difference between self-confidence and confidence in God
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