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.total-e-bound.com.Also by D.J.ManlySchismGladiators: House of SimeonGladiators: House of PhineasGladiators: House of NicolausGladiators: The Next GenerationSins of Summer: MayzeSins of Autumn: Hail Stormwww.total-e-bound.com IF COMEA.J.Llewellynwww.total-e-bound.com DedicationIn memory of my beautiful dog, Venus,who sat waiting patiently for walks as I wrote this and every other book.Writing is just not the same without you, my smiley Aphrodite.xxxwww.total-e-bound.com Trademarks AcknowledgementThe author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the followingwordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:Bookworm: PopCap GamesDiner Dash: Big Fish Games, Inc.Facebook: Facebook, Inc.Viceroy: Viceroy Hotel GroupMTV: MTV Networks, Inc.Paramount Pictures: Paramount Pictures CorporationWriters Guild of America: Writers Guild of America, WestMovie Database: IMDb.com, Inc.Evian: Danone Waters of America, Inc.Office Star Big and Tall Deluxe Leather Chair: Office Star ProductsHugo s: Hugo s RestaurantThe Ghost Whisperer: CBS Studios, Inc.Moonlighting: American Broadcasting Companies, Inc.The Ghost and Mrs Muir: Twentieth Century FoxUniversal Pictures: NBCUniversalLexus: Toyota Motor Sales, USAHannibal Lector: Strong Heart ProductionsBird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life: Anne LamotteThe Artist s Way: Julia CameronThe Art of Creative Writing: Lajos EgriBotox: Allergan, Inc.Lenny s Deli: Lenny s Deli Of The PalisadesGlee: Twentieth Century Fox Television, Inc.Modern Family: Twentieth Century Fox Television, Inc.Mark s Garden: Mark s GardenThe Woods: The WoodsBand-Aid: Johnson and JohnsonRoosterfish: The RoosterfishBiltmore: Biltmore Hotels and SuitesMy Big Fat Greek Wedding: IFC FilmsCraigslist: CraigslistBricks and Scones: Bricks and SconesNeuroSonic: Neuro DrinksHummer: General Motors CorporationWarner Brothers: Warner Bros.Entertainment, Inc.Match.com: Match.com, LLCRealtor: National Association of REALTORSwww.total-e-bound.com How can I find my way in this impenetrable darkness? How can a few words from a psalmthat I say upon waking be all I need to begin again, after I have been worn down to almostnothing by acedia?Personified as the noonday-demon, acedia was once considered one of the deadly sins.Acedia is a danger to anyone whose work requires great concentration and discipline yet isconsidered by many to be of little practical value.It is that feeling that afflicts almost anyonewho is forced to commit to a certain kind of repetitive, undervalued work such as marriage,monastic life, and writing, especially poetry.Acedia prompts us to ignore our current work, and often to daydream about the greenerpastures elsewhere.Often it is acedia that urges us, for no good reason, to fantasise andbrood over circumstances in which we will be affirmed and admired by more stimulatingcompany.Whatever the place of our commitment a monastic cell, a faith community, a job, amarriage well, we are better off just walking away& How could we ever have imaginedthat we might find self-fulfillment in this place, among these demanding people? The churchchoir is incompetent; my colleague talks too much about her children; my wife doesn tunderstand me& -Kathleen Norris, Acedia and Me: A Marriage, Monks, and a Writer s Life.www.total-e-bound.com IF COME A.J.Llewellyn 68Chapter OneZam Carmarthen entered the lobby of Longshore Films, immediately enchanted by thehuge black and white photos on the wall of long-ago shipping days.He took in the close-upimages of handsome, rugged stevedores unloading massive pallets on weathered-lookingdocks.He felt the strong pull of attraction to a couple of the men, shirtsleeves rolled high ontheir arms.He studied them as he adjusted his messenger bag from one shoulder to theother.Man, I gotta be hard-up, fantasising about men who ve probably been dead for years&He tore his gaze from the images on the walls and sauntered over to the row ofyouthful-looking assistants manning a shiny bank of desks against the far wall.They all woreblack and had this season s de rigueur hairstyle.Gamine.Even for the men.He felthopelessly unfashionable with his dark, curly hair, well-worn jeans, vintage plaid shirt andthe suit jacket that had seemed like such a groovy idea at the thrift store.Nevertheless, heswallowed over the lump in his throat and pressed forwards.Business must have been slow or else the three assistants just didn t give a toss.Eachheld a portable device in their hands
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